I Hate Quentin Tarantino.

There. I said it. And now you're just going to have to deal with it.

Hating Quentin Tarantino now puts my list of Things I Hate That Everyone Else Loves up to three. We all have our own lists. Adrienne hates peppers.

My own list:
1. Sushi
2. Johnny Depp
3. Quentin Tarantino

Here's the thing: I don't have a good reason to hate Johnny Depp. More, my feelings are really those of indifference. But it's the fact that everyone else wants to make out with the boy so furiously that makes me hate him so.

But my hatred for Quentin is true, and it is deep. I came to my realization about QT only Saturday night after having watched Pulp Fiction for the first time (Joe is catching me up on my list of Guy Movies It's Weird I've Never Seen. And, yes, Kill Bill is also still on that list.) After watching Pulp Fiction, Joe and Monica started expounding on what is supposed to be in the briefcase, and it might be the one guy's soul, and such-and-such is supposed to be God and that part's Heaven, and this guy's an angel and blah blah whatever.

I didn't want to hear it. And not because I don't think movies can have deeper meanings. PLEASE. I took film classes in college. I know what's up. But I just. Hate. Quentin. Tarantino. And I don't think that he had a deeper level of meaning. I think he just made the briefcase mysterious because he likes to mess with people's minds. Done.

Here is why I hate Quentin Tarantino:

1) The permanent snarl. I want you all to look through this series of pictures and then not punch the person next to you in the face.






It's like a mix between "Someone at the gym farted but it wasn't me so I'm going to make it obvious that I find that smell repulsive" and the look people give in movies when the Asshole says something funny-but-mean so the hero smiles ironically for a second and then roundhouses them in the face.

2) The snark. Now, I know as the Queen of Snark I shouldn't be upset by this, but you guys have to watch this.



How does this man not make you grit your teeth? Specifically, listen at about 1:20 (try not to get distracted by Jeff Bridges' majesty like I did) when the interviewer is all "everyone wants to work with you" and Quentin Tarantino's response is, "Oh really, bitch?! I hadn't noticed that people think I'm great. Why don't you get out of my FACE." Also, REALLY you DJed an Oscars pre-party? YEAH? REALLY?

I will cut you.

3) His general douchey/dude-bro/entitled attitude. I mean, come on! He acts like a Cubs fan at the Cubby Bear after a win! Isn't that enough for you people? Was Kill Bill realllllly that amazing that you're willing to just forgive the man for being LIKE A CUBS FAN AT THE CUBBY BEAR AFTER A WIN?

Well? ARE YOU?