Phew. I have survived The Illness. Now on to more important matters.
I have a very serious guy-friend crush. Not a crush crush, not a girl crush, not even the mystical gay crush. I am talking guy-friend crush. Which I'm not sure I've ever had. And I have no idea what to do with myself.
I know how to flirt. I'm practically a professional flirter. Wiggle wiggle, smile, smile, fake hit, hair flip...repeat. If I could have been paid to flirt back during the height of of my hair flippitude, pleeease. I would have been able to pay off my student loans before I even owed them.
But I can't flirt my way into guy-friendship! He'll get all kinds of wrong ideas via my wiles. It's this boy at my volunteer tutoring place. And he is so smart and...okay I actually know very little about him. He's...tall? Look, all I know is, I want to sit in a coffee shop and listen to him tell me things. French revolution, how to change a tire, Socrates... I don't know, I bet he knows it all. It does make for a problematic friendship, though. I imagine us like those dogs from Looney Toons with the little dog yipping and running around the big, cool dog.
Basically, our conversations thus far have sounded more or less like this:
Him: *says something witty to a group of people*
Me: ggggllhhhhh...I KNOW EVERY LINE IN ARMAGEDDON!!!
But every once in a while I get one of those almost-laughs from him. Like when you reverse sniff? I consider those moments some of my greatest accomplishments. Next accomplishment: actual conversation. Crap, I better brush up on my Socrates.