I spent a little time yesterday looking through my old journals from junior high and high school, hoping for some good Valentine's Day memories. Sadly, I found none. But I did find a gem from the day AFTER Valentine's Day.
Let me set the scene for you. It's the 8th grade. I'm fourteen. I look (more or less) like this girl here. My best friend, Emily H, and I spend all day writing notes to each other about boys. When we get home, we immediately get online. To talk about boys. I am currently in love with a boy named Scott N. I have never spoken a word to him, nor do I know a thing about him except that he is gorgey beyond all--in a quiet, blonde and mysterious kind of way. Valentine's Day has come and gone, and I received zero Secret Admirer cards. So it's time to lay it on a little thicker. Here is the email that I sent to Emily that day (which I then printed out and put in my journal.)
SUBJ: re: P.S.
ohmygosh. Here's what I've decided. I am not going to sit around on my fat butt anymore. I will get Scott to notice me if it's the last thing I do. Here's my plan: since I still don't think it would be right to just go up to him and start talking, I'm going to look at him. "Oooh, look at him," you say. But wait! There's more! Sometimes when I am looking at him (which is usually one HECK of a lot because I am NUTS) I catch him looking at me. Usually I turn away really fast cuz I'm the biggest chicken in the world. Next time it will be different I tell you! I'm going to take one giant leap. I will look at him, he will look at me, and I will smile. Yes smile, ladies and gentlemen, smile. I can do it, I know I can. It may take some practice, but I've got 3 pictures of him to work with, so by tomorrow I'll be ready.
I hope. Sigh. I can't do it. I need help. You know how crazy I am? I went as far as wishing I was in the hospital for some reason or another, and our homeroom had to send me cards. So he would have to give me one. And then I could treasure it forever. EMILY H. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!?! I WISHED BODILY HARM UNTO MYSELF SO I COULD GET A DUMB CARD FROM SCOTT N! This could be it! I may have just gone past the line! I'm way out of wack! I may be at the point of no return! Help! I'm slipping away to a mere nothing! There is a boy at school who I know nothing about (except every inch of his physical features and clothing,) and I am becoming obsessed! I need help! I can't even DREAM about him any more because I think about him so much at night, my brain no longer feels the need to dream about him! I have to dream, instead, about gold jewelry and relay races (don't ask)! Emily H, you are my last hope. This is my final cry before I go fully insane. DO SOMETHING!
(That's Emily S, Official Member Of The Emilys)