Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Automatic Voice Message System, You're My Only Friend.

I am having some insurance issues over here and it's freaking me out. I am of the general opinion that The Man knows what he is doing. I don't know why. But The Man makes my knees shake. I am terrified of authority. Because, I'm sorry, I was raised in a civilized community where people respected their elders.

But I'm pretty sure no one over at Unemployment Insurance, Inc. knows what the hell is going on. I am receiving bills for all SORTS of amounts of money, none of which make any sense. They especially make no sense because I CANCELED MY INSURANCE THREE MONTHS AGO. So you can imagine my chagrin each time I receive a new bill (every week) for a new amount of money which is completely different from the last amount.

What makes it really swell is that the call center is one of those voice-activated machines. Which usually are not terrible. She tends to understand the words I am trying to say. However, today I am sick. So this is how it went down:

Automatic Voice: Welcome to--
Emily: *clears throat*
Automatic Voice: --I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Please say your name.
Emily: Emily *cough*
Automatic Voice: Did you say Robert?
Emily: *ack, ack*...EMILY
Automatic Voice: Hello, Robert. Please say your account number.
Emily: Oh crap, I don't have that anywhere. Um...four?
Automatic Voice: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Please hold for eighty hours while I transfer you to a real person who can interpret your sick mumblings.
Emily: Thank you!
Automatic Voice: You are quite welcome. Feel better.

Anyway, no time for a real post today, folks, for I have an interview/chat/who knows with a company out in the burbs! Let's all get excited! But not too excited because who believes in jinxes? This girl. Hence, I am wearing my lucky interview outfit and have tossed aside my once-lucky-now-unlucky necklace. And I'm already starting from the bottom here, what with The Sickness and also the weather, which may have been one of the plagues I forgot to mention here.

So off I go! Wish me luck! But not really, because that's one of the jinxes. Wish me NO LUCK!!

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