Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Confessions of a Movie Talker

I know what I'm about to say makes me the Kimmy Gibbler of your lives, but I have a confession to make: I talk through movies. And I like it.

*Pause while you all give me evil looks*

*Ow, those are some painful looks*

*Okay stop now please*

*IT BURNS US*

There, are we done? Good, now I can explain myself. I like movies. I like how they make me feel. I like forgetting how boring my life can be and reveling in the idea of marrying Richard Gere in the New England countryside instead. It's not that I don't LIKE movies or like knowing what is going on during them. But I also go to movies WITH people. And I don't just do it so that I look like I have friends. I go with people because movies are experiences that I like to share. And just passively letting a movie wash over me seems like an incredible waste of time and money.

I don't usually talk through an ENTIRE movie. Usually it's one of these common phrases:

1. Oh, it's that guy! From the place!
2. Where is that guy from?
3. REER!
4. Wait...what just happened?
5. Those two should make out.
6. Oh! Friends. He was on Friends. He was Pheobe's boyfr--okay sheesh. Shh yourself.

At least I'm able to hold it back when necessary. Well, in a way. I can hold back talking the way someone holds back milk when they laugh. It ends up coming out in sputters and out of all kinds of holes in my head. Bat-like squeals and silent hand clapping are not unheard of.

My movie talking cohort is Adrienne. She and I discovered our love of talking through movies during Love Actually. That or Bridget Jone's Diary 2: The Edge Of Reason. Some masterpiece staring Hugh Grant, that's all I know. Either way, it was a magical experience and I'm sure we annoyed the people around us but DAMN we had a good time. There was even seat dancing. And honestly, there's nothing better than seat dancing.

It is my goal in life to go with Adrienne to a really bad movie during its last week in the theaters, in the middle of the day on like a Tuesday. Then we'll be there all alone and we can sit on opposite sides of the theater and just YELL comments back and forth at each other. Something staring J-Lo or WhatsherfacetheblondegirlfromGrey's.

Anyway, that's all I really have to say on the subject. I need to get ready to head over to Adrienne's now actually. Lost is on tonight and HELLS YES we will need to rewind a million times to find out what people just said because we won't hear anything the first go around. *Waves Ben Linus pennant for good measure*

God bless Tivo, my home sweet home.

3 comments:

Jason said...

i'm taking movies off the possible double date idea list. :) (though Jane might be into it)

Sra said...

Kimmy Gobbler - or should I say "sugar lips"? :)
Full House AND Friends references -best post ever! Lova! :)

Hannah said...

the scene: York Cinema, Classic Theater
the movie: How the Grinch Stole Christmas (starring Jim Carey)

the mortified younger sister: Hannah

the sister who did NOT stop laughing/talking at an obnoxious rate: Emily.

I don't think I've seen a movie with you since then... and I was about 12 I would guess.