On Friday all the interns at our agency got treated to a Cubs game. As I strolled back to our spot with a beer and a hot dog (as God intended it), I was confronted with a group of standing Reds fans. All standing there like a bunch of standing things. So I say in my cutest, flirtiest, get-the-hell-out-of-my-way-this-hot-dog-won't-eat-itself voice,
"Excuse me, boys (they are all around 40), I've got to get through here."
And that's when it starts. Some drunk guy, taking what I'm sure was astute note of my skirt and boobs, decided to be hilariously interactive. While all his friends move out of my way, he says, "It'll cost ya!"
Oh yeah? Really? Will it? ...SEE? Even now, I CANNOT come up with a good comeback to that line! What do I say? WHAT? So of course, asking me to think of one on the fly was a total disaster. Add the immense amount of sunlight, the already-consumed beer, and the sheer number of people around me waiting for a response, you can imagine how it all went down, I'm sure. But just in case you can't, here's the play-by-play.
Drunk Guy: I'll cost ya!
Emily: Okay...well...yeah. Pffssh.
DG: So what is this? [noting my plain gray shirt] Are you a Reds fan or what?
Emily: No, I'm a Cubs fan. Kind of. I just, I had a shirt, er, a blue shirt. But I lost it! And who loses a shirt?!
DG: Maybe someone stole it.
Emily: Yeah, probably some Cincinnati...jerk!
Emily: I'M SORRY I'M BAD AT COMEBACKS NOW LET ME GO BACK TO MY SEAT WITH MY $6.50 CUP OF BUD LIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
It was disastrous. Not unlike the game (zzzzzZZING!)
Anyway, that's all I have for all y'all right now. Got a bit of a work...thing...the next few days. I'd explain it but it's TOP SECRET!!!1 (not really, it's just kinda boring to explain) So I might be kinda MIA for a bit. But in the meantime, won't you become a fan of this blog? Look on over to the right-hand margin. Click the ol' thumbs up sign there and you're good to go! Ta!