1) Aunt. Meryl.
2) Thank God for Glee and Modern Family. Can we all agree: 30 Rock is great, now let's stop giving them awards.
3) Can I just have a life-sized poster of Reese Witherspoon in that blue dress?
When she showed up on stage, I think I looked at her the same way I look at these brownies. (May I just say, it took me eighty thousand hours to find that picture. Why? Was the dress not froofy enough?)
4) Hello, Mariah Carey's boobs. Haven't seen you in a few minutes. Glad you're doing well.
5) Kate Winslet? You are...I can't...I want to...*pets Kate Winslet*
6) Amy Adams is pregnant? This is the kind of news I feel I should have known, but apparently I haven't been reading the covers of magazines in line at the grocery store for the past few months.
7) Ricky Gervais. Let's have a marriage. Let's have a marriage license.
8) YIKES. James Cameron's wife. The years have not treated her nicely since she was the old lady's granddaughter in Titanic.
9) You can take the Fergie out of the meth lab but you can't take the meth lab out of the Fergie.