Clever Title I Can't Be Arsed To Write

I'm in a place today. A work-related, career-related, life-related, long term goal-related place.

Basically, I would like to get a hold of a time machine so I can go back to the 5th grade and tell my bowl cut, glasses-wearing self, "F*CK IT, you'll be a Muppeteer if you damn well want to be a Muppeteer."

And then I'll come back to now. But for good measure, I'll make a stop in 1999, slap myself for not wearing my retainer, and then come back for good.

I am going to go home and make myself a sandwich comprised of bacon, smoked gouda, and a slathering of Steve Martin. It might work.

Oh my god, it's The Day.