Wednesday, June 23, 2010

It Was a Dark And Stormy Rush Hour

Sorry about that outburst yesterday, folks. But I was holding onto that anger for a solid 3 hours and my face was getting red and there was smoke coming out of my ears--and not in a Bugs Bunny way. In a dry ice smoke seepage.

So tonight was fun! And by fun, I of course mean terrifying and horrible.

For those not in the Chicagoland area, there was a teeeeeeny storm. Some might call it "Satan's Revenge." I call it "WHERE IS MY FAMILY WHAT ARE THEY DOING WHAT ABOUT THE DOG WHERE IS JOE IS HE ALIVE WHY DOESN'T MY PHONE GET RECEPTION FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!!1"

Honestly, my largest concern was Joe driving home with barely-existent windshield wipers. My second was my mother living in the town where The News had decided was ground zero, and my third concern was the nerves of my family's dog. And don't even tell me that you wouldn't be concerned about this puddin' face:

Note that I'm not in any way concerned about Wally, the family cat. The thing is roughly the size of Massachusetts. He probably spent the storm outside like this:

I had my own mini adventure during the storm. It was ALMOST enough for a comic strip.

So right when I decided to hunker down in my room (away from the windows,) the sirens started going off. And hi, I'm on the top floor of my apartment building. It's only the 8th floor, granted, but still. When the rain on the roof doesn't sound like rain so much as straight-up flowing water, you listen to the tornado sirens. So I went to the underground parking lot. Except being downstairs, I couldn't get reception. And God forbid I go four seconds without Gmail. So I found a stairwell and worked my way up. And, well, yadda yadda yadda, I ended up locking myself outside under a doorway awning. And I got majorly splashed with alley water by a passing car. Eventually I had to run around in the crazy rain until I got to an open door. It was a whole thing.

But I survived, slightly wet and smelling like muffler fluid (is that a thing?) and all ended well. I think. I mean I haven't gotten an official word back from my mom to tell me that she's okay (and that the dog hasn't imploded from nervous shaking.)

So Joe and I are officially drinking red wine and watching Gilmore Girls (I'm not saying it was his choice. Did I say that was his choice? I don't think I said it was his choice.) so I'm going to go ahead and stop typing because the wine is officially kicking in.

Hope you're all okay! Unless you didn't get hit with Satan's Revenge, in which case, hope you had some other horrible thing happen to you. What can I say? Misery loves company.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I love you all. Vote for me! EJS '010

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