3 Things Currently Consuming My Life Right Now

1. Living with my boyfriend

Living with Joe is going well. We're clean. We're courteous. And there was a snort-laughing incident last night. So if that's any indication, you know. Soul mates. There is one thing that's hard for me, and that's remembering that Joe is a person.

I know. Difficult.

What I mean is, it's nice to have someone around who generally does what I ask him to do and offers to give me back massages on a regular basis. But this also means that sometimes I get a bit carried away and later realize that I just spent the day ordering him to do my crazy-person bidding, like finding the pancake mix (that requires milk [but NOT eggs {and has some fiber}]), and then I get annoyed when he doesn't do it exactly like I would have. Sometimes you have to remember that your boyfriend/roommate (broomate? boymate? royfriend?) is a human being who is not you. And they might put the detergent in at the COMPLETELY WRONG TIME but...sometimes you need to live and let laundry.

2. My phone

My phone has become a complete mystery to me. One which I must solve. I'm like freaking Sherlock Holmes over here, mustache and all. So, I understand that AT&T is crap. We all know. I've come to terms with the fact that I get no signal as soon as I enter a store. Maybe AT&T has an aversion to coffee shops and/or clearance sales? But now they have gone too far.

It's not that I get NO signal (in the middle of the third largest city in the US, b the w.) It's that I get RANDOM signal. My phone will go--while not leaving my seat--from full bars to three to one to none. Back to three. Down to none. All while I stay perfectly still. And sometimes if I restart my phone completely, the signal will come back.

It makes NO SENSE. I could understand if I just lived in a node where AT&T couldn't reach. But this is borderline poltergeist. And it is consuming my life. And apparently my phone. I mean, I rarely call anyone anyway, but what is the point of having a phone if not to text people immediately after seeing a pug in a rain coat? What, I ask you??

3. What time I should leave work each day

I understand that the life of an advertiser isn't always 9-5. You work when you work, and you work until it's done. Fine. But sometimes I don't have anything pressing due the next day and at 5 o'clock I'm hungry and annoyed. And I'm ready to go home.

But yesterday we had an intern orientation and we were told specifically NOT to go home at 5pm, and if we are leaving at 5pm, we will not be asked to come back when our internship is over.

WHAT IN THE WHAT?!

I'm scared to go home now! Every day I wonder if people are watching me pick up my jacket at 5:35, shaking their heads in shame at how little I care about this industry. I'm an intern! You asked me to write ONE headline today! I wrote three pages of different ways to say "scratch n'sniff!"

Maybe other Creatives aren't like this, but at some point in the day, if I don't let myself go home and drink a Hoegaarden, you will have to try WRINGING the headlines from my lifeless brain, because that's just how I personally work.

Mmm, thinking about the image of wringing a brain made me think of this picture book I had as a child where Mickey and The Gang go on a picnic (or possibly reenact Jack and the Beanstalk...I can't remember) and for some reason Mickey wrings out this huge ball of cheese. It was awesome. NO WAIT! He was proving how strong he was because he lied and said it was a rock but really it was cheese. Man, what WAS that??

Oh my God, where am I?