Tuesday, August 30, 2011

And I Feel Fine

Sorry about the lack of blogging 'round these parts lately. I've been in a slump. I basically get halfway through a sentence before I mutter "aw, screw it" and put something from Netflix back on.

The best part about being unemployed is the sheer amount of Hulu Plus and Netflix Instant I am able to fit into my day while still being a functional person. I also spend extra time at the gym and go on extensive walks along the lake, clean my studio (OH MY GOD WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, DISHWASHER?! YOU ARE MY ONLY FRIEND), hang out with people, etc etc. AND STILL. I complete whole television series within a week. It's glorious. Absolutely glorious. Part of the reason I do this, I'm convinced, is because I grew up in a large family and a small house. I hated it at the time and wanted privacy, particularly during the whole "gross I have to wear a bra this is SOOOOO EMBARRASSIIIIIIING" phase. But now it's what I'm used to. I'm used to there being voices and interruptions and people walking in and out and through at any given moment. So brushing my teeth or washing dishes now in complete silence is practically torture. So I have Netflix and Hulu and they are magical. I don't know how I survived before without them. I probably had thoughts. LAME.

Louis CK has this bit where he says he's divorced and when people say "aww" he's all, don't be sorry for me. I was in a terrible marriage and now I'm not. I'm actually happier now than I have been in a decade. You should be applauding for me. (Obviously he says it in a funny way, that's just my boring interpretation.)

That's how I feel about unemployment right now. People ask me what's new and I feel compelled to tell them that I was laid off recently. Because that is honestly what's new. I mean, I totally am the awkward kind of person who might try to not mention it and then end up knee deep in lies about how their job is going which they currently don't even have, but I just don't have the strength for that kind of storytelling. Not for something without dragons and a karate-kicking princess.

So I tell people I'm unemployed and they all have one of two reactions: "Oh, I'm so sorry!" with that pained look on their face, or a totally uncomfortable "Aw jeez I wish I hadn't even asked" *single finger collar pull*.

And I try to explain that it's totally fine. In fact, it's not just fine. It's actually pretty much awesome. I hated what I was doing, every single day I was doing it. And I'm not a 45 year old with kids to feed who'd have an excuse to hate their job, I was just a miserable 26 year old, whittling away the best years she's got. Now I get to actually enjoy the amazing weather we've been having. I go to the gym in the middle of the day and I still have time to come home, shower, and go out. I get to watch absurd amounts of things on the internet. Basically, every day is Saturday for me. I have no family to support, no medical bills to pay off. What I'm saying is, I'm having a kick ass time, despite a downtick in funds. Do not feel sorry for me, do not feel sorry for asking.

Their response to my positive response? "Sure! You WILL be fine! You're young. You'll land on your feet!" they say, consoling me. "....So are you applying for jobs?"


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