Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Tankini: Theory Vs. Reality

Nothing drives me crazier than when magazines tell me that the best bikini for my body if I don't like my belly is the tankini. A tankini, for those that don't know, is basically a waterproof undershirt paired with normal bikini bottoms.

How Tankini makers market their product:

How a tankini ACTUALLY makes me feel:

And yes, the tankini is not in direct correlation to the fact that I fail at beach hair, but the fact that models have hair stylists to make their hair look like they dipped it in glue and then rubbed it in sand and somehow it became SEXIER is just an unfair addition to the entire situation.

So please, Cosmo, give it to me straight. If I want a swimsuit that gives me support AND hides my problem areas, tell me what I really need: clothing.


Liketohike said...

I actually had a good tankini experience--it is long (enough) and does not squish in the ribcage-to-hip area. It is from JC Penneys, of all places.

Jon said...

Although those charming drawings are enjoyable, they are only a visual representation of how you perceive your tankini experience.

I'm willing to bet that you are actually receiving different results.

Ask the nearest guy. I'm sure he would be happy to tell you his opinion on the matter.