Tuesday, April 5, 2011

More Ranting About Bras

I will only say this ONE MORE TIME, PEOPLE. (Okay, that's a lie and we all know it...I will probably tell you this at least twice more by the end of the week.)

GO. GET. YOURSELF. AN ACTUAL. BRA FITTING. And not from Victoria's Secret. I'm talking Nordstrom, I'm talking Soma, I'm talking Intimacy, I' m talking Bravissimo for my large-chested UK readers (Oh did I not mention how international I am? Because I sooooo am.) Just for the love of GOD go do it.

Sorry, I'm having a mental breakdown this morning about this. But they had "The Bra Whisperer" on WGN this morning and she's showing before and afters of women in bras, and she said "We've switched her to a 32E" and the news lady was like "32 EEEEE?!?!?!?! DOES THAT EVEN EXIST?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? KJSGI{ONG"RLSNJSGI:JSEFPJWERLJN" And the woman just ignored her and moved on. No. NO, BRA WHISPERER. You should have whipped around, smacked that woman in the face and set her straight.

I'm talking one of these:

This is the problem with the world right now. Screw religious zealots and global warming--THE HUMAN RACE HAS A MISCONCEPTION ABOUT BOOBS AND WE NEED TO FIX IT BEFORE WE CAN MOVE ON.

FACT: 85% of women are wearing the wrong bra size. If you are not 100% confident that you are wearing the perfect size for you, guess what? You are one of the 85%. You are wearing the wrong size. You.

The thing about the woman who was the 34E? She didn't look "big chested." Joe and I were both watching (torture for Joe, I'm SURE) and as my face turned a nice shade of FIRE, I said, "See? THAT girl is an E! And does she look big?" And Joe said, hands down, NO. She did not look big. Granted, he also probably didn't want to be clawed into a million tiny pieces, but I'm pretty sure he ALSO agreed with me.

But when you hear anything DD or above, your mind goes here:

When it should actually go here:

That is a screen grab from the video of the Bra Whisperer, which you can watch in full here. And do you see what I'm talking about? THAT is a 32E. THAT, you guys.

And that's all I have to say about that.

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