Blog Starters...And Failers.

So here's the thing: I have tried to write many a blog post this week and have come up miserably short. Part of the problem is that everything I WANT to write about has to do with work, but everything that I'd say would likely lead to me being fired. Not that I have ludicrous things to say, but...you know. We're a client-based industry.

So tried to piece together strings of words disguised as thoughts and make them into a real blog post. But I get about a paragraph in before I get bored, see something shiny, and figure genius will hit me later.

So I bring to you...random paragraphs that I've tried to use to spark a post. I hope you enjoy.

1) Law & Order is unrealistic. Why? Because no one could ever grab someone else's cell phone from them and in two clicks, find their call history. Other people's phones are a mystery to us all. And the guy who once played Elton in Clueless is no exception.

2) My inner self has short blue hair, tatoos, and a skateboard. BUT my inner self also likes seafoam colanders and 50's housewife dresses and holding babies. So...there's that.

3) Regina Phalange wants me to be lazy. She (my new kitty, if you haven't been following) walks at my ankles and meows at me whenever I'm standing. But as soon as I lay on the bed or sit on the couch, she stops. But the thing is, she doesn't then come and snuggle, as you would assume would be the reason for her wanting my lap. Oh no. She sits aloof, a few feet away. Looking all content with her crooked Chaplin mustache and massaging the Ikea ottoman like she owns the place.

4) Here is my life: First, I feel skinny. So I allow myself to have a few cheeseburgers. And then my pants don't feel right on my waist. And so I feel fat. And so I stop eating cheeseburgers. And then I feel skinny....and so I allow myself to have a few cheeseburgers. It's this vicious cycle and it's not fair, I tells ya! I say, once you get down to your ideal weight, you should be allowed to just stop there. Like, we need a "save" function on our weight. And then you feel you've gone too far one way, you can just quit without saving and come back to where you were. Let's go, God. Work with me here.

5) Apparently Chick-fil-a is coming to Chicago. I have never had Chick-fil-a.

YEAH. That's where I'm at at this point. I'm telling you about religious-based fast food chicken restaurants. So I do apologize for not really having anything significant to say outside of blog-inappropriate work comments. Hopefully better things to come. I'm feeling optimistic.