Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Pinterest, Hot Chocolate, Stitching, And A Whale For Good Measure

I have a few things to tell you, none of which have anything to do with anything else. So I'm just going to go ahead and lay them on the table.

1.) I just joined Pinterest, so naturally my life is over. Pinterest combines two of my favorite things: sharing stupid things, and categorizing stuff. When I was young, my mom set me free in a department store, and I spent my time organizing a bunch of rings by color. Over a decade later, I realized the rings were organized by size and I just ruined some poor store clerk's night.

So yeah, I like to organize. But now it's organizing pictures into "crafts I'll never do" and "food I'll never make" and "wedding stuff" because despite my rampant feminism, I'm ONE OF THOSE. Sue me--sometimes I see cool wedding stuff by accident (cough when I'm surfing wedding blogs cough) and I don't want to forget those ideas. Like this one!

Flowers made of paper?! Paper made of flowers?! COME ON!

2.) Joe and I just walked across the street and payed $2 each for hot chocolate powder in steamed milk. I just wanted to share with you how stupid it was that we just paid for something we own, and I also want to share that it's sad how much spending $2 is affecting me emotionally. That's what my life has become now.

3) I've decided on a new hobby and I am EXTREMELY interested in it, mainly because I haven't yet learned anything about it. I am still the 3rd grade kid who decides she wants to take drum lessons until she finds out you have to practice and it isn't immediately easy. This is why I am a writer by trade. It's the only thing that didn't cause much exertion on my part.

Oh my God, I didn't even tell you what the new hobby is. ATTENTION SPAN! Sorry. The new hobby is going to be cross-stitching--HEAR ME OUT!--funny things. Like stupid quotes and swear words next to adorable embroidered squirrels. Kind of like this one:

It's what makes the sauce so awesome. They will sell like HOTCAKES on Etsy. Except I assume hotcakes do not actually sell that well on Etsy since that would be a disaster, packaging-wise. But can't you imagine a cross-stitch pattern that says:

"A real man makes his own luck. -Billy Zane, Titanic" -Dwight Schrute

RIGHT?? I WOULD BUY THAT! I know I'm not the first person to do this. There is great, funny embroidery all over the internet. I'm not suggesting that I'm original, just that I want to be part of this amazingness. I mean, if millions of people can put a bird on it, then a couple of us can cross-stitch the f-bomb onto pillows and sell them on the interweb.

4) And finally, if this picture does not instill the fear of God into you, then you have no soul.

*shudder* The only reason those people are not being drowned is because that whale has CHOSEN TO SPARE THEM.


Dad said...

The whale has not chosen to spare them. The whale is waiting for a real man to try making his own luck by jumping into the water. Proof that humans are not the only species to desire low-effort snacks.

I am also happy to report that even though only 40% of Chicago Christmases are white, it's snowing cats and ermines outside the window as I write Welcome home!

Paleo Mermaid said...

Whales are AMAZING creatures! They are very gentle and wouldn't intentionally hurt a human. That's partially why they are in such trouble ... They don't know the difference between a sightseeing boat and a whaling boat. I've been in the water with hundreds of sharks, rays, sealions, and even whales. They are ALL amazing and wonderful! They should be respected, not tortured or feared.

Emily said...

I agree they should be respected and not tortured. I wish I could not fear them. But I do. Whales are scary, as I explained in an older post:

Kellie Rae said...

I agree with Paleo Mermaid...whales are graceful amazing creatures...I'm in my third year of Marine Biology and eventually my specialty will be in Cetaceans, which are whales and dolphins. Whales shouldn't be feared, but like all animals they should be respected. Just because they are large doesn't mean they want to hurt you. They feed on small plankton and bacteria in the water (at least the baleen whales which is the type of whale this is) they do not eat large prey, except the toothed whales, but even they don't attack humans.

Emily said...

I know. I guess I consider whales to be like very large ship. Will a boat prey on me? No. Will it eat me? No. Do I want to swim directly next to one? Absolutely not.