On Becoming Boring

Last Saturday, I was grating cheese and apparently it was making a weird noise. From the living room, Joe asked, "What's Regina doing?" And I said, "It's me with the cheese."

And for some reason which neither of us understand and yet both of us understand completely, "It's me with the cheese" is actually the funniest sentence that can be uttered in the English language, especially in a 1920's gangster accent. "Mrah, it's me with the cheese, see?"

So naturally I drew a picture to commemorate the event with the fancy new colored pencils my mom--UH, UH, SANTA--put in my stocking.



And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what I accomplished last weekend.

Other things that happened last weekend:
1. I sat on my couch
2. I complained when the music was too loud at the bar (except during Call Me Al, which I think is acceptable at any level and I will fight you if you say otherwise. Also, Call Me Al is the first music video I ever remember seeing. I was at my preschool husband/big wheel cohort's house and I remember it being on in his front room TV and being like, "What is this magical thing presenting itself before me? I want to touch it." Wow I didn't realize I had this much to say about Call Me Al. BACK TO IT)
3. I left the bar early because of how loud all non-Paul Simon songs were.
4. I sat on Taylor and Jess' couch and watched a movie.
5. I sat on Michael and Lindsay's couch and watched sporting events.
6. I entertained a baby for a few minutes by saying "ba ba ba ba" over and over.

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am an old, boring person. And I'm okay with it.

I mean, at first I thought my weekend overview meant that all fun had been sucked out of my life and young hooligans would point and laugh at me for being so ver, ver boring. And then I realized that what I used to call "boring" was actually just "sober." And really all I've become is a more mature version of a teenager. Because what do I do now? I get together with friends and watch movies. I go out to eat. I find things to do with people I enjoy which may or may not involve alcohol. I sleep when it's dark out. I sing Cher "Believe" whenever possible. I complain about how adults JUST DON'T GET IT, MAN.

Okay, not the last one. And I don't think I ever said "man" because I was not a teenager in the 60s nor did I smoke peyote. But the rest is true. And that doesn't have to make me boring. Not if I don't let it. So fine, I currently have three forms of antacids in my purse. But it's only because I might get a little CRAZY and order some french fries! You don't know! You don't know what I'm going to do next!!

GOD, there is a really good Friends clip where the guys come back and they're all tired and old and it is SO PERFECT, but my Googling skills have failed me. So take this and enjoy, preferably in a t-shirt and sport coat.