Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Not A Hot Time In The Old Town

Last night I was woken up by our fire alarm at 2 am.

Joe, who was just about to go to bed (he was studying) still had the clarity of mind of a person who had NOT been jolted out of REM into a cacophony of horror.

His reaction: "I'll grab Regina." *Puts Regina in her carrier* *Puts on shoes and jacket* "Ready?"

My reaction: WHAT IS THAT WHAT DID YOU DO WHERE AM I WHY IS THERE NOISES??????? THE FIRE ALARM?! ARE WE GOING TO DIE? IS THIS BECAUSE I BAKED COOKIES LAST NIGHT? WHERE'S THE CAT? SHOULD I BRING MY BABY BLANKET? SHOULD I BRING MY ALARM CLOCK? *Grabs mis-matched flip-flops* ......Okay I think I'm ready.

We walked down all 8 flights of stairs, Regina meowing all the while as though this was something that perhaps we were doing on a LARK, and could let her out if she just reminded us loudly enough that she was still in a cage. I sat by her as others filed out, strategically shielding her eyes from the St. Bernard. Soon, a fire truck came, nothing was found, and we all went back inside and upstairs. So...fun adventures for all.

Between last night and the night before, when I was scared the impending storm was going to rip the I'm-sure-very-stable roof off our apartment, It's become very clear: I need some renter's insurance.

I meant to get some. A few years ago. When I lived on the 1st floor in a sliiiiiightly ghetto part of Ghettoville, USA. I remember attempting to get a quote online. But they kept asking me all these questions, like if I had a smoke detector or a fire putter-outer thing. And they asked me to estimate how much my stuff was worth.

And I ask you, how the hell do you even start to guess that? I mean, you can figure out the big things I guess, like the TV and the couch and the bed. But how do you start measuring your old Ninja Turtle figurines' worth? Or howabout your VHS tapes you refuse to let go of? What about the clothes you've acquired over dozens and dozens of trips to Target for "necessary things only"? What about the drawers of lotions and shampoos? And how do you measure the worth of the contact lenses that I JUST picked up under great stress and hardship to me? How does my insurance give me those 45 minutes back??

In the end, I gave up. I decided to take my chances with the stealthy security system we already had: owning very little. But after the stress of the past two days, and the thought of seeing all my precious, precious stuff either flung to hither and yon by a tornado, burned into tiny piles of ashes and melted plastic by someone's renegade shrine candles, or drenched by the dangling water spigots that I just KNOW are ready and willing to ruin all the time I've spent slaving over Ikea catalogs, I think it's time for some renter's insurance.

So I'll get right on that. Right after I light all these candles on my bed.

3 comments:

Liketohike said...

1. I am imagining you like Steve Martin in The Jerk, collecting random "important things"

2. Someone in your building has a SAINT BERNARD??

(related: my class led Mass on the feast of St. Bernard, which is pronounce BURR-nerd, which I did not know and thus the poor child who gave the welcome to Mass that day welcomed them to Mass for a giant breed of dog. Oops.)

Emily said...

1) It was very similar. "This phone and this hoodie and that's all I need. And this cat. This phone and this hoodie and this cat and that's all I need."

2) It might be a mix, but yes. There are a few big dogs in our building. But not every apt is as small as ours.

3) Who says BURR-nerd except for the British?? In the end, I guess it doesn't matter, since you're going to Hell for being a Protestant anyway.

Hannah said...

you mind WOULD immediately go to that baby blanket.