Monday, December 20, 2010

My 26th Birthday...OF DOOM

So my birthday is tomorrow and I'm having a bit of...a time with it this year. This is the year I've been dreading my entire life and that is not a joke.

Oh, Curlz.

I've always pointed out that up to 25 there's something, some age to look forward to. At 16 you can drive, 18 you can win a billion dollars on the lottery, 21 you can make bad decisions legally, and 25 you can drive rental cars.

And then you turn 26 and you get jack squat.

And your life is over. OVER! 26?! I might as well buy a cane, put on a plastic rain cap and get a cat--OH GOD IT'S ALREADY STARTING! Quick, someone, is there lipstick on my teeth???

To be honest, most of my age spasms have to do with work. See, I started copywriting when I was 22. TWENTY TWO. And I was SO ahead of the curve! And then at some point time passed (stupid time and its moving forward) and now I'm getting to be the age where I should know stuff and sell ads and go on production and write things without having to go back and rewrite them eighty thousand times. But sometimes it still feels like I just started in this business.

And I know I've learned a lot and I'm actually much further along and I'm probably doing fine BLAH BLAH BLAH. Listen here. I'm going to be in my late twenties. No more messing around. I mean, I've really got to step it up if I'm going to keep my life from completely derailing, which I'm fairly convinced could happen at any moment.

Then of course there's the marriage and baby debacle. First of all NO, neither of those are currently happening. But Joe and I have talked about them lightly, and we're pro both of them. When the time is right. WHICH IS NOT TODAY.

But I'm 26, dammit! And Joe's even older. And if we still need time before marriage and even more time before babies (which, by the way, the more I learn about pregnancy and newborns, the more I want to become Sister Mary Emily so let's not even go there), that time is starting to get shorter and shorter. And it's freaking me out.

I need marriage and babies to stay safely far away from me. I need to go back to when it was a "one day...when I'm much older and mature and have my life together." But really, when is that going to happen? When am I going to be old enough and mature enough to have my life together? Because I'm guessing it might be retirement, and even then? Iffy. And I'd also prefer to only have a child between the ages of 3 and 6. So once science figures out how to give me a perpetual 4-year old for me to drive around when I'm 65, I think we're good to--OH MY GOD I'm going to be a dog-lady. A lonely, miserly dog lady. I'm going to be the old lady from Little Women. People will be paid to be my friends and read to me.

No. NO!! I refuse to succumb to the pressures of age! I have time! I'm sprite-like! In fact, I've made a list. It's a short list currently, but it's of all the things I would like to do within the next two-ish years. And it's full of all kinds of young people things. Here we go:

Emily's List Of Young People Goals:

-Learn how to knit (Oh God, this did not start off well.)
-Take beginner photography classes, then take good photos with a good camera
-Improv classes
-Sculpting classes
-Dance classes (HAR! That one was just for you guys. OR IS IT??...It is.)


-Go to Scotland, find your ancestor's castle.
-Go to Italy, eat a lot of pasta and cream.
-Go to San Francisco, Francisco! That's fun to say.

-Go on a production shoot outside of Chicago
-Get promoted, earn what I think I deserve
-Write an ad that everyone loves

-Pay off a big student loan chunk
-Buy a car (I have a feeling these last two are going to be an either/or situation)
-Become a roller skater
-Be more stylish
-Make more Julia Child recipes
-Find an apartment with a reading nook for weekends (and then read on the weekends)

And that's all I have so far. I'm hoping these things will help solidify myself in my mind as someone in her late twenties with goals and aspirations appropriate for her age. Someone who is 26, not 20 NOR 87. Someone who is moving forward toward the ever-unattainable goal of knowing exactly what I am doing here.


Sra said...

1)Don't disown me, but what is this from: "San Francisco, Francisco! That's fun to say."?
2)May I lovingly point out that I am in your same situation except I don't have a job or a boyfriend?
3)May I also point out that when you turn 55 you can join AARP and move into a senior community?
4)AND you can retire when you're 60-something, unless they change it on us and make it 70. :P

Sra...again said...

AND, I may be 31 by the time Wicked (the movie) comes disgusting is that?!

Drew said...

I would say something encouraging, but I'm only 20, so you'd probably just grow to resent me. The best I can muster under these circumstances?

26 isn't old. And this post made me laugh.

FreeFlying said...

Seriously. Don't you know that women have rebelled? We're working on a whole new clock here. We're not into aging and all that crap. I mean, we have babies at 44. Like, FREQUENTLY. We have ab muscles at 50. It's a new world. And you and I are babies in it.


Helpful pep talk?

Lisa said...

Forget rental cars, once you're 35 you can be president. Dream big!